27 things I need to get off my chest

1. I’m tired of having insomnia. (Irony intended.)
2. I miss writing my thoughts on this blog.
3. I don’t know the difference between being compulsive and being disciplined. The things I want to do somehow I’m too “lazy” or “undisciplined” to do. Yet compulsive behaviors in opposite directions come easy. Why can’t I take my devotion to something negative and aim it at something positive?
4. I’m tired of taking anti-depressants and blood pressure meds because I’m so anxious all the time. I want off the meds.
5. I admire Hooved Shaman immensely. Most people will never understand what a courageous thing he’s trying to do.
6. I miss dancing the Lindy Hop with my husband.
7. I miss riding my bike.
8. I miss swimming.
9. I miss seeing sunrises and sunsets.
10. I miss the wind blowing through my hair.
11. I miss wearing short skirts.
12. I miss connecting with my friends and family.
13. I think TJ is one of the funniest things on the internet. She has also introduced me to some of the coolest things on the internet.
14. I’m bored with WoW. I’m not sure if I care to get over the boredom. I’m not sure Wrath will cure it. I think it is broken inside me.
15. I’m sick of my computers, the web, politicians, religious pushers of all stripes, politics, pundits, jerkfaces, phenoms, trolls, critics, asswipes, corporate lifestyles, humidity, materialism, advertising, the worship of sex, people who make sweeping generalizations, people who make lists, and television news people.
16. I need more hugs and kisses from people.
17. If I can learn how to be optimistic, anyone can. I wish more people would try.
18. I want to dedicate my life to something bigger than myself. How do you narrow it down to just one thing? And how do you eat & pay rent while you’re doing it?
19. I don’t believe in mid-life crises, except from a hormonal point of view. Everything else is just an excuse to avoid reality.
20. I wish I could adequately explain the difference between acceptance and giving up.
21. I want to wear a short, cute, fun hairstyle, even if it’s not right for my face.
22. I want to know why compassion is less valued than competition.
23. I think people are tribal animals. Emphasis on tribal. Emphasis on animals. Until we get that through our thick, “civilized” heads, we’re always going to fall short of anything resembling world peace.
24. Can you write for a blog about a game you’re falling out of love with — especially if they’re not all that interested in you writing about what interests you — just to get the experience to put on your resume for bigger things in the future? Should you even try?
25. I think atheism is not a lack of belief; it is a belief in something different.
26. I think science is as much a mythology as any religion. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. But to think it is higher than other mythologies is to make an arbitrary exception.
27. Sometimes, when thinking about my gramma’s death hurts so bad that my chest hurts and my teeth grind, I try to remember that time is not necessarily linear just because we perceive it that way. When a wave crashes to the shore, does it cease to exist or does it just go back into the ocean? I try to remember that gramma and I are both in the ocean and we are waves, seeming to come and go but still part of the same thing.